Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Public Surveillance in the USA Essay -- CCTV, Privacy Rights, Right of

1. Introduction All the developed countries (developing countries are also in no way lagging behind) the incidence of the people being monitored under various surveillance systems is high of which closed circuit television system (CCTV) is gaining dominance. For instance, the UK has over 4.2 million of them, giving it a ratio of one for every 14 persons and the USA is reported to have been installing it on a rapid pace in every conceivable location as town centers, schools, public transportation systems etc with a spiraling budget estimated at $100 million. With the terrorists attacks looming large in the wake of 9/11 attacks and despite the killing of Osama Bin Laden, the trends are going towards more and more technology oriented surveillance methods. This has naturally caused widespread concerns about the privacy issues and necessitated more evidence based research to inform policy and practice. The critical issue that needs to be addressed in the argument for or against the use of public surveillance system in the USA is which one takes precedence, viz, whether safety of the public and property at large or the invasion of the rights of the individuals who are subjected to some sort of interference in their privacy. In other words, does a citizen have an unfettered right to privacy even when it comes to issues relating to the enforcement of law in prevention of terrorist attacks, crime and restoring security and peace of the citizens at large? I propose to argue in this paper in favor of the need for public surveillance system by advancing the reasons for its imperative and take the view that it does not amount to prima facie violation of individuals' rights and in contravention to the rights guaranteed under the constitution... ...lsh. "Public Area CCTV and Crime Prevention: An Updated Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis." Justice Quarterly 26.4 (2009): 716-745. Web. 24 Apr. 2011 Print Gill, M., & Turbin, V. (1998). CCTV and shop theft: Towards a realistic evaluation: In C. Norris, J. Moran, & G. Armstrong (Eds.), Surveillance, closed circuit television and social control (1998) (pp. 189-204):. Aldershot: Ashgate: Print Slobogin, Christopher. Privacy at Risk: The New Government Surveillance and the Fourth Amendment. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 2007. Print Sutton, Adam, and Dean Wilson. "Watched over or over-watched? open street CCTV in Australia." Australian & New Zealand Journal of Criminology 27.2 (2004): 211-230. Print. White, R., & Sutton, A.: Crime prevention, urban space and social exclusion. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Sociology, 31(1): 1995: 82-99. Print

Monday, January 13, 2020

Discussion of the four types of budgeting system

In Business terms if we talk about budgeting it is the ability of a manager to plan and allocate the available funds to different departments of the organization. This enables the organization to efficiently allocate the funds to more productive areas and cut back expenses from the less productive areas.This includes utilization of assets to generate income and public relationships. Normally budgeting is done by accountants, financial experts and representative of the respective department whose budget is being formed (Wisegeek, n.d, n.p)In daily life also budgeting is an effective way to determine the monthly living expenses keeping in view the bills of previous month. Say for example if an individual is earning $4,500 per month, by deducting his known bills from this amount before they even come, he can forecast his household budget, now instead of assigning fixed dollar amounts he can assign percentages to the rest of the sundries (Wisegeek, n.d, n.p).A successful budget is neithe r too strict nor too lenient but a balance between the two extremes because there are some expenses which are to be paid in full so it should be the strict side of the budget. In organizations, each and every department should know their upper limits on spending.The reason of forming a periodic budget is to have a clear cut view of the limits in term of expenditure (Wisegeek, n.d, n.p).Another view in budgeting is that not every project can be assigned a fixed dollar amount because an organization cannot forecast each and every expense and here comes the lenient side of the budget in which we are working with the percentages.Also there is always the chance of unexpected which requires immediate attention, so in that case if an organization or individual has fixed his budget he they would not be able to change or reallocate it. So what accountants and financial experts do is that they regularly adjust the figures according to their needs (Wisegeek, n.d, n.p).When the inflow of income is greater than the outflow most of the people negligent about budgeting, but those who have formed a practical budget and they follow it can survive even greater financial setbacks (Wisegeek, n.d, n.p).Traditional (Incremental) BudgetingTraditional or incremental budgeting is the most common type of budgeting used today, which includes forecasting for the whole year and no change is bought in the whole budgeting period. Because of simplicity and easy coordination traditional approach is mostly liked by the organizations (lmmattersonline, n.d, n.p).Imperative approach now a day is criticized from modern organizations. They say that this type of budgeting no longer serves the needs of organization, because mostly budget is timed incorrectly (for too long or for too short) period, depends on wrong measures (too basic or too composite), also too stiff in changing global environment and some times too political (which shows that benefits are only derived by upper management)If we look at the time period of traditional budgeting its fixed and specific, normally starting at the beginning of a fiscal year. The forecasted values of the budget also remains same during the whole cycle of the budget, the process of forecasting values is done keeping in view the values from the previous budget and the expectations are also made by looking at them.Finally the determination of goals is done by the top management, which is then communicated to lower management for implementation (lmmattersonline, n.d, n.p).The advantages of traditional or imperative budgeting approach are that it is easy to form, simple to manage and easy to evaluate. Furthermore every one’s goals are clear and accountability can easily be done (lmmattersonline, n.d, n.p).On the other hand disadvantages of traditional or imperative budgeting approach are that is unable to cater the needs of modern organizations and that the decision making during the year becomes difficult because of inflexibility in budget (lmmattersonline, n.d, n.p).Zero Based Budgeting (ZBB)Zero based budgeting (ZBB) is an alternate of traditional budgeting approach mostly used by government or not for profit organizations. Using this approach means that managers have to justify all expenditure and not only the changes from previous year. The benchmark for this approach is zero rather than last year’s budget (accountingformanagement, n.d, n.p).If we compare zero based budgeting (ZBB) with the traditional or imperative budgeting approach, in incremental approach the managers start from the last year budget and then add or subtract according to the predicted needs, taking last year’s budget for granted as baseline, while on the other hand zero based budgeting approach requires considerable documentation from the managers to justify the budget (accountingformanagement, n.d, n.p).Which not only includes the master budget document but also the decision packages showing all the activities of the part icular department ranked according to their importance and the cost of each activity should also have to be determined.Top executives then cross check the decision packages and cut back the expenses from less important areas (accountingformanagement, n.d, n.p).Zero based budgeting (ZBB) is considered to be a good approach; the only issue with it is the number of times the review is carried out. As this approach is quite time consuming and too costly to justify on an annual basis, also that annual reviews become mathematical and the purpose of budgeting is lost (accountingformanagement, n.d, n.p).For some managers zero based budgeting (ZBB) is quite helpful for others it is nothing but the wastage of resources like time and money. So it’s up to an individual what he chooses? (accountingformanagement, n.d, n.p).The advantages of zero budgeting approach (ZBB) are that the resources are utilized properly, and the identification of need and benefits become justified. ZBB also lead towards cost effective ways. It helps to identify inflated budgets and then helps the service oriented organizations to identify their output.The decentralization is also one of the benefits which increases the motivation of staff and gives them the message that they are also accountable for their actions (accountingformanagement, n.d, n.p).

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Speech Speech On Racism And Weather - 1106 Words

â€Å"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union.† Barack Obama Race Speech was delivered on March 18, 2008, at the Constitution Center. When presidents give speeches there are multiple different perspectives, everyone makes their own assumptions on speeches. Race has always been an issues in the U.S. and it will always be, some never see an ending to racism because we don’t live in a perfect world and you can’t make someone believe something you believe because you think it’s right. Obamas presidential speech touches on racism and weather you support him or not some of the issues and facts that he pointed out are very real problems and issues in this world today. He brings up the Philadelphia convention in his first†¦show more content†¦While pushing to end racism, and defending his old reverend, he also defends himself and talks about his background. As him being a true American and being a proud one at that. With running for presiden t and even running to be president, that the main factor and he represents and defends that very well. While learning about all the hard times and struggles that African Americans have had to go through in the sixties and all though out history, ever since the first slave came to American, we as a nation have definitely come a long way. America needed a black president and as for Obama, being the first one is leading us down the path to end racism. While having race the main theme in his speech he also, at the same time, places it on the back burner while still addressing America as a whole. He did a very good job in mixing the two and bringing up the key importance with both situations that America is still facing today. As stated in his speech â€Å"If we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and sole challenges like health care or education or the need to find jobs for every American.† In his speech as was a big chunk was his defense on Reverend Wright, while he did defend his relationship he also did a veryShow MoreRelatedEssay Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and The Civil Rigths Movement570 Words   |  3 Pages Martin Luther King was an inspirational figure in his time because he helped begin the civil rights movement through his courage and bravery. Martin was an African American born in a time where race was the major factor for weather you were treated with respect or treated very poorly and treated as if you were slaves His story begins when he was an executive member in the NAACP but his fight for equality in the American South happened out of sheer luck. Martin was picked to host a meeting to supportRead MoreCritique of a Public Speech Essay713 Words   |  3 PagesCritique Of A Public Speech Critique Of A Public Speech Presenting a speech can have it difficulties, whether it is you not having a loud speaking voice or nervousness, you still have to have the ability to deliver a great speech to your audience. On January 20, 1961 over 49 years ago our late President John F. Kennedy presented the Inaugural Address, in Washington D.C. The weather was very cold, and it was one of the largest crowds at the Inauguration. As I am watchingRead MoreRhetorical Analysis Of I Have A Dream Speech710 Words   |  3 PagesLuther King Jr. delivered his famous â€Å"I Have a Dream† speech. He delivered his speech at the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom where he called for an end to racism in the United States, and civil and economic rights for all. He presented his speech to over 250,000 people on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C., and he delivered a defining moment of the Civil Rights Movement. Martin Luther King Jr. intended for his speech to gain support for the Civil Rights Movement. As a CivilRead MoreLiterary Techniques Used in November Cotton Flower by Jean Toomer727 Words   |  3 Pagesby a couplet that undercuts or reverses them. In the beginning it portrays the scuffle for survival of cotton flower during November’s harsh winter weather; but towards the end, it describes the sudden bloom of it. The author goes in depth with most of the descriptions to give a reader a clear and strong mental image. The poem describes the weather and its effect on cotton flower by pointing out the dying branches and vanishing cotton. The image of insufficiency, struggle and death parallel theRead MoreEssay On A Good Man Is Hard To Find851 Words   |  4 Pagesmerciless attacks on affection and triviality.† (Gordon 1) The author, Flannery O’Connor is recognized in her work in southern gothic literature which had grotesque themes and focused on damaged and delusional characters. In her stories, she exposed the racism that linger throughout the South. â€Å"Many of her characters appear to be normal at first, but as the stories develop, the audience begins to see the flaws and how these flaws represent many problems of the South in the 1930s.† (Surber). In 1955, FlanneryRead More Racial Inequalities and Tension Essay1344 Words   |  6 Pagesits president, allowed certain months to represent cultural awareness, and immigration numbers augmented. 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Whether or not his aims were oppressive in nature is debatable but, his aims for racial purification and domination over Eastern Europe are made obvious before Hitler’s assumptionRead MoreThe Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd Essay896 Words   |  4 PagesRacism: Then and Now. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd is a book discussing the internal strife of a young white girl, in a very racist 1960’s south. The main character, Lily Owens, faces many problems she must overcome, including her personal dilemma of killing her own mother in an accident. Sue Monk Kidd accurately displays the irrationality of racism in the South during mid- 1960s not only by using beautiful language, but very thoroughly developed plot and character development. KiddRead MoreMy Life with SDS and The Weathermen by Mark William Rudd1493 Words   |  6 PagesMark William Rudd has written Underground: My Life with SDS and The Weathermen. Mark Rudd is a political organiser, mathematics instructor, anti-war activist and counterculture icon. He is most well known for his involvement with the Weather Underground. Rudd became a member of the Columbia University chapter of Students for a Democratic Society (SDS), in nineteen sixty-three. By nineteen sixty-eight, he became a le ader for Columbia’s SDS chapter. Rudd’s works’ include Truth and Consequences: TheRead MoreMexican Immigrants And The Mexican Community915 Words   |  4 Pageshasn’t demonstrated understanding or respect toward Mexican migrants and has offended the entire Mexican population.† Televisa said after firing Trump. (ABC News.) It was such a relief to see how people were not taking him seriously, but I was wrong. Racism has shown its face again. The United States officially has someone who wants to be a modern-version of Adolf Hitler. He shows his despise and is fighting to get rid of an entire race. The bizarre part, is that many people are actually in his favor

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Samples of book reviews Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron

Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity Book Review Sample Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity The title â€Å"Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity† fully conveys the content of the book. The author set a goal to help the person to overcome a creative impasse. That is why this book is intended for those who passionately want to create something but experience temporary or permanent difficulties with this. It is hardly possible to place â€Å"Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity† in any standard frames and categories. This is a book that must be read repeatedly with carefulness. One of the most striking features of the book is the uncompromising approach of its author. She constantly rejects all halftones and any attempts to evade from responsibility. Everything becomes very clear and straightforward: there is a way to creativity and if someone refuses to choose it, he betrays creativity and himself. This position requires taking a very big responsibility and only few people can bear it. The book is penetrated with a specific spiritual approach to the defined problems. But the contemporary people who lead modern life often do not want to hear about spirituality and faith, since they give their preference to pragmatic approach, economic calculations, explanations and persuasion. â€Å"Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity† depicts a huge energy charge. Julia Cameron managed to express her outlook on the pages of the book very clearly and powerfully. While reading you will notice that the path of a true artist requires significant changes in life. Even if these changes are stretched in time, sweetened with promises of success or with descriptions of positive examples, they still can be enormous and irreversible. It is impossible not to change oneself after reading this great book!

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Social Class And Gender Roles - 1469 Words

How are the tensions between social classes and/or genders dramatised in Modern European Drama? Social class and gender roles, were and still are today, a key element in the progression of theatre. Dada and Futurism, as movements in theatre took place at the time of the social class war, the prejudice against women and their rights and the struggle to create an equal society. The two movements, of avant-garde style contained three stage in which they were able to create; ‘analysis†¦engagement†¦forward vision’ (Berghaus, 2005). Their method to create art and theatre was impelled on by their desire to attack the ‘dominant ideology of bourgeois society’ (Berghaus, 2005) ‘some claim that the word was â€Å"discovered† by opening a dictionary at random’(Sawelson-Gorse, 1998) Dada was a ‘crusade in order to win back the promise land of creativity’ (Berghaus, 2005). Dada, as a movement, did not only take form of inspiring art, but it was a protest, to test the bourgeois society. Dada, as movement has a rampant and wild allure about it. The way in which it was approached and is approached today is similar in a sense of strength and power. In his manifesto Tzara is clear that ‘dada was born of a need of independence’ (Tzara, 1918), this does not only imply that there was no independence in terms of art, but also that Constructivism needed to be moved forward. In Tristen Tzara’s Dadaist Manifesto he does not only have a fighting attitude toward Dada, but also has resilient opinion on theShow MoreRelatedThe Role of Language in Creating and Reinforcing Social Distinctions Such as Class, Ethnicity, and Gender552 Words   |  3 PagesThe Role of Language in Creating and Reinforcing Social Distinctions Such as Class, Ethnicity, an d Gender It is said in a myth that people were once trying to build a giant latter to heaven so God made them all diverse by making portions of the people look different and speak different language. The now diverse people of earth felt annoyed and human nature took its ugly toll and separation and distinctions were made, they all scatter throughout the world. God did this soRead MoreSocial Stratification And Its Effects On Physical And Mental Differences1216 Words   |  5 Pagesbeen social stratification. Social stratification is the separation of based on physical and mental differences. Every society exhibits a pattern of separation between its people. We will focus mainly on the United States and how they organize people based on the three main organizing principles, class, race, and gender. Social class is defines as â€Å"the grouping of individuals by economic position† (Larkin, Para. 9). Members of each social class share similar income, wealth, lifestyle, social normsRead MoreLittle Women: Class and Gender1613 Words   |  7 Pagesis a book often known as a novel of identity while recognizing and breaking the normal social order. Highly criticized identity developments often used by critics are the social and gender aspects. The March girls are often recognized as an abnormal case in socio-economic order and challenge gender roles, mostly credited to their upbringing by Mrs. March. In the article Resentful Little Women: Gender and Class feeling in Louisa May Alcott, author Stephanie Foote argues that the negative emotionsRead MoreThe concept of social identity, social class,gender and ethnicity.1635 Words   |  7 PagesSocial Identity is the understanding of who we are, and reciprocally, other peoples understanding of themselves. Richard Jenkins believe d that this social identity is achieved through socialization within social groups. He argued that by placing themselves in the role of others, people, particularly children, gain a greater understanding of the role that they should play. For example, a six-year-old girl playing mommy with her dolls will, as she gets into the role, begin to understand what a motherRead MoreIs the Body a Social Construction?1447 Words   |  6 PagesThe phrase â€Å"social construction† is difficult to define as it encompasses a multitude of elements, but despite that, conventionally, social construction shows ways society has conceptualised expectations and ideals which can be related to specific sociological interested areas, such as the body. Social action has been shown to have an effect on the transformation of a biological individual, although bodies appear to be simply natural - eye colour, body shape, size of feet etc - a deeper context revealsRead More The Impact of Social Idealogy o n Virginia Woolfs To The Lighthouse1179 Words   |  5 PagesThe Impact of Social Idealogy on Woolfs To the Lighthouse     Ã‚   Throughout literature the ideology of the society in which the author was living is evident in the text. This can cause certain groups within a text to be empowered while the other groups are marginalised and constrained by the social restrictions placed upon them by the ideology. In the novel To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf, Woolf shows us an awareness of gender politics during the 1920 ¹s Britain by subverting the traditionalRead MoreGender Roles Of Women And Women1677 Words   |  7 PagesGender is one of the greatest factors that can determine how we define ourselves and others. Although gender is determined at birth for many, it does not influence one s identity of self until a later age. How society views the roles of each gender influences how a person views themselves. As the views changes, so does one’s identity. In the past, the roles of men and women were defined and separated. Men were expected to provide income for the family, while women wer e expected to take care of theRead MoreRace And Gender Play : A Woman At The Top Of Her Career Essay1350 Words   |  6 Pagessuburban dream. This paper will take a look into two different individual lives and how class, race and gender play a role in their position(s) in society. Interviewee (1) one is a man from Virginia, he has identified himself as a white male and acknowledge that he was in the working class system and once married moved into the middle class spectrum â€Å"in class systems, people may become members of a class other than that of their parents through both intergenerational and intragenerational mobilityRead MoreSocial Stratification1349 Words   |  6 Pagesï » ¿ Social Stratification: Impacting Positions in Society Social stratification is vertical hierarchical arrangement which differentiate people as superior or inferior. Societies are stratified in three ways which are,1) Social Class; 2) Racial and Ethnic stratification; and 3) Gender. 1) Social Class: According to Karl Marx, Class society is based around a primary line of division between two antagonistic classes, those who owns the means of production and those who do not own. Comer addedRead MoreThe Development Of The Fisheries And Tourism On The Monterey Coast Essay1312 Words   |  6 Pagesentangled social and environmental histories that together transformed Monterey through time.† Thus the central contribution of Chiang’s book is illuminating the intersection of social and environmental history from the perspective of an environmental history. The environmental story deals with the fisheries, canneries, and eventual aquarium celebrating the environment and Monterey’s past. Central to the social story are the conflicts and interactions between people of different gender, class, race,

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Medical Benefits and Risks Involved in Male Circumcision free essay sample

Medical Benefits and Risks Involved in Male Circumcision BY kin123 Male Circumcision A surgical procedure for males that is so easily overlooked and such a norm for many to undergo, male circumcision is a topic one must be educated about. Male circumcision according to Mayo Clinic is the surgical removal of the skin covering the tip of the pens (Mayo Clinic). It is commonly done on newborns, although it can be done later in life as well. The United States and other places around the world including Africa and Europe participate in this removal of the foreskin, but the uestion is why do so many do so? Is it because of health reasons or cultural norms? As so many people do it, why might some be so against it? Male circumcision is a major controversy and is a debatable topic. There are many sides to the idea of male circumcision. I believe that there is no right or wrong as long as you are educated and informed about the pros and cons of the procedure and decide knowledgeably. Many parents decide to circumcise their boys as newborns with the intent that its a health precaution as well as a protection against sexually transmitted diseases. There are many studies that show results that males have a lower chance of getting HIV if circumcised, it is not limited to Just the US but other countries too. A Journal by Bertran Auvert revealed acceptability of male circumcision among uncircumcised men in southern Africa is high, at about 60 70% (Auvert 150-151). So with many studies with similar results many organizations including The World Health Organization (WHO) and UNAIDS are implementing national male circumcision programs to help prevent the spread of HIV (Auvert 150-151). While programs and eople are pushing for circumcision for the prevention of STDs and infections, there are also discussions to improve techniques done in some countries including Africa. As a Journal I came across put it redirecting male circumcision from traditional providers to hygienic clinics (Gilliam, Brooks, Leibowitz, Klosinski, Sawires, Szekeres, Weston, and Coates 1207-1211). This will ensure a safe male circumcision that will be less prone to any complications. As Helen A. Weiss and her colleagues stated, traditional circumcision as a rite of passage is associated with substantially greater isks, more severe complications than medical circumcision among neonates (Helen , Larke, Halperin, and Schenker). Although circumcision does show some possible medical benefits there are many risks involved that should be put into account as well. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, in circumstances in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the childs current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child (AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS 686-693). Since the procedure isnt ecessary for ones well being, the complications may out weigh the potential benefits to some people. Surgical risks associated with circumcision, particularly bleeding, penile injury, and local infection, as well as the consequences of the pain experienced witn neonatal circumcision are valid concerns that require appropriate responses (Bailey, Moses, and Ronald 368-373). This goes to show that circumcision isnt Just any procedure that should be taken lightly rather thoroughly considered. Male circumcision shouldnt be done to fit in or beca use its a norm around us. It should be a decision made based upon knowledge and knowing all risks and benefits of the procedure. I think that the conclusion Stephen Moses, Robert C Bailey, and Allan R Ronald made is nicely put, a decision as to whether to recommend male circumcision in a given society should be based upon an assessment of the risk for and occurrence of the diseases which are associated with the presence of the foreskin, versus the risk of the complications of the procedure. In order for individuals and their families to make an informed decision, they should be provided ith the best available evidence regarding the known benefits and risks (Bailey, Moses, and Ronald 368-373). The Sterk article was very interesting and gave me an idea of how to go about my research. It was intriguing how Claire Sterk actually engaged with prostitutes and eventually got to know their lives from the inside. Her observations and interactions with the prostitutes were a key to conducting her research. Sterk developed trust and a relationship with her target group, which is a smart idea. She states, both parties need to get to know each other, become aware nd accepting for each others roles, and engage in a reciprocal relationship (Sterk pg. 3). I think she went about her research in a great way. Although my research isnt going to be as hands on, I will definitely go about her methods when asking questions to my participants, such as keeping my opinions to myself and refraining from presenting myself as an expert (Sterk pg. 3). Some questions and topics I would ask participants will pertain to what they think of male circumcision in general and if it is a topic of concern to them. Also I would proceed in asking if they talk about ircumcision with friends or if they heard stories pertaining to male circumcision whether good or bad. I would also be sure to find out what stereotypes or myths they have heard about circumcision. I want to ask college kids my age so they will be more prone to answer and to have an insight on what they think for they will be parents one day and will have to make that decision. I will find people around I-JPs campus and ask a few of my friends to participate. I will also have adults and even have elders opinion of this topic. I would make the conversation and questions asked elaxed and easy so people will hopefully respond truthfully.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

SAMPLE LAW SCHOOL APPLICATION ESSAY - AFTER

significantly improves each essay using the same voice as the author. The only way to evaluate editing is to compare the original essay with the edited version. We significantly improve essays both for clients who write poorly and for clients who write well.Edited EssayBeing outnumbered twenty to one can intimidate anybody. This is especially true in Officer Candidate School. As one of only five female officers in a class of one hundred, I quickly learned to overcome sexual stereotypes and to assert my authority with finesse. At no other time in my life have I received so much training in loyalty, courage, and disciplinenor had to rely so heavily on my own perseverance. By the time I enrolled in this program, my determination had already been tested on numerous occasions, but Officer Candidate School did more than any previous experience to prepare me for academic excellence and intense leadership positions.Early in life, I realized that education often determines ones fate. My moth er, a Dutch immigrant, never completed the fourth grade, and my father barely passed the GED with the help of his Army recruiter. Neither of them went to college, and although they worked very hard, they had very little to show for it. I instinctively knew that I wanted more out of life, and I became determined to do whatever was necessary to get an education.After graduating from high school in Holland at age sixteen, I faced an important obstacle in my quest for a baccalaureate degree. My father felt that college was a waste of money and refused to support me financially. My mother could not assist me financially, but she did give me something more valuable: her encouragement. With her support, I moved into my own apartment, got a job working fifty hours per week, and enrolled in college full time. I worked from 4:30 A.M. until 3:30 P.M. every day, and I went to school from 6:00 P.M. until 11:00 P.M every night. I do not recall when I slept or did schoolwork, but my determination to put myself through school prevailed.As busy as I was between work and school, I still found time to do volunteer activities. When I turned seventeen, I joined the National Guard to make a more substantial impact on the community and to do something that would enhance my future. I firmly believed, and still do, that nothing in life is freeincluding our rights and freedom. Even though the National Guard swallowed an additional weekend each month, I still advanced quickly through school and received strong grades.By the middle of my sophomore year, I developed an intense desire to exercise my leadership ability. At that time, the National Guard was in need of officers, especially female officers. I applied to the Officer Candidate School weekend program and was accepted. As one of just a handful of women, I was singled out from the very beginning of the rigorous and demanding training process. Furthermore, at a time when female officers did not traditionally go into engineering, I o pted to enter the Corps of Engineers upon graduation.Fourteen months later, eleven of the initial one hundred soldiers received Federal Commissions as Second Lieutenants in the United States Army. I was the only female officer among them. The financial advantages of serving as an officer allowed me to cut back on my work hours and to focus more on school. Finally, after a very demanding journey, I received my bachelors degree in business.The perseverance required to pursue my degree and commission is the same perseverance that will ensure my success at the University of Maryland. I am guided not only by my desire to pursue an advanced degree but also by the same reasoning that led me to join the militaryI want to serve my community from a position of leadership. My background, which includes service in diverse leadership roles, will allow me to contribute a unique perspective to my class. Few individuals have experienced the responsibility of managing thirty soldiers at age nineteen . Equally few have led a 120-soldier unit in overseas deployment during a time of hostility.The Army has a saying: Train as you fight and you will fight as you train. I try to apply this philosophy to my education whenever possible. I have selected the University of Maryland because its law clinics, externships, and mentor program will give me valuable hands-on experience and opportunities to apply what I learn. In my quest to become a lawyer and more successfully serve the community, I will indeed draw upon all that I have learned about accomplishing personal goals. As in Officer Candidate School, I will be focused, motivated, and willing both to train and fight.Customers CommentsI am impressed. I have the strong background skills and knowledge to get into law school, but I have a hard time being able to write it down with intelligence. I was totally impressed by the revised version of my personal statement and feel like he captured what I wanted to say. I had reservations about do ing this online, but I researched your site, looked it over numerous times, and made the decision to try this service. My editor made a tremendous difference in my statement and it was obvious from the first sentence as he got my attention. I was very impressed at how good the whole essay was, from start to finish. I cant thank enough.CritiqueDear Jane,I enjoyed editing your essay for law school. You have an interesting background and will undoubtedly contribute a unique perspective to the school.Here are my specific comments on each individual paragraph of your essay:Paragraph 1It is essential that the first paragraph introduce your specific qualifications in a compelling manner. Your original first paragraph was full of excessively vague sentiments and allusions to abstract values. I have suggested a new, more potent introduction that illustrates your success at Officer Candidate School and thereby grabs the readers attention.Obtaining my baccalaureate degree and my commission as an officer in the Army are prime examples of how perseverance allowed me to overcome difficult obstacles in my life.This is a great point, but you need to make it implicitly through your examples rather than stating it explicitly. See the revised essay for my suggestion.Paragraph 2To make your essay easier to digest, you should break this paragraph into two parts. For the first, you should explain why you decided to pursue a baccalaureate degree, and for the second, you should explain how you did so.Your second paragraph also needs a strong transition sentence. I have provided a new sentence drawing on your observation that, Education was my opportunity to change my life.Be mindful of ways you can improve the sentence-to-sentence flow of your ideas. For instance, I have linked together two of your ideas in this paragraph as follows: My mother could not assist me financially, but she did give me something more valuable: her encouragement. With her support, I moved into my own apartm entParagraph 3This paragraph treats three very distinct ideasyour interest in extracurricular activities, your decision to join the National Guard, and your success in Officer Candidate School. As such, it makes sense to break your discussion into three separate parts.I still found time to do volunteer activities here and there.Avoid colloquial phrases like here and there in formal writing.I was still progressing in college at a decent pace and receiving decent grades.In subjective assessments like this, it is always desirable to use the most compelling words possible. I suggest the following: I still advanced quickly through school and received strong grades.Finally, five years after I started the journey for my degree I received my Bachelors in Business.You should omit the number of years you were in school since this information does not contribute to your essay.Paragraph 4This paragraph is a perfect example of the axiom that less is more. You have a number of concrete details th at are very compelling, but you obscure them behind extraneous, generalized statements. I have streamlined this paragraph to keep it focused.The difficult decisions I have made and ethical dilemmas I have endured have made me realize the importance of choosing the harder right rather than the easier wrong.'This sentence is superfluous since you have already explicitly outlined the positions in which you had to make hard decisions.Paragraph 5The conclusion of your essay sounded like a plea for admission, and that is not what your personal statement should be. To be more precise, you should not conclude your essay with a sentence asking the school to consider you. This is not a letter; it is an essay.Also, note that you should not address the reader in the second person singular (you) since this is too informal. Finally, referring to the school as the best in the nation was a bit gratuitous and clichà ©d.Overall, I really enjoyed reading about your experiences. You very interestingly outlined your unconventional background. In your future writing, be sure to avoid overused and clichà ©d phrases. (Some examples include overcome difficult obstacles and determined to succeed.) It is acceptable to use phrases like this when they truly fit, but using too many clichà ©s really waters down an essay.I believe you will find your essay much improved. Again, you have an interesting background that I agree is an important asset. I have done my best to accentuate the most compelling details in your writing and to help your essay to stand out. Good luck in the admissions process.Sincerely,Your EditorSee this essay before the edit.